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The first thing I did was go to the store and get a blender, just a cheap one, for now. I also purchased a weeks’ worth of Atkins chocolate diet shakes, an 8 pack of Coke Zero, fresh fruits, veggies, coconut milk, Nature’s Secret Super Cleanse, and 7 single serving yogurts.

Then, I weighed myself. This is not the crucial part of the dieting, the measuring is, but checking your weight once a day will help you to make sure you don’t go above your beginning weight. 241.8. A crushing blow, as I had been fighting the scales between 237 – 242 lbs. from June until now. When I finished school May 7, I was down to 231 lbs. from a beginning weight of 270 last August. Take a deep breath, practice radical acceptance, then move on.

Next, it’s important to measure the parts of your body that concern you. For me, it’s my biceps, waist, and thighs. This will be crucial as the lifestyle change occurs, because as your workouts increase, you will gain muscle, and lose fat, and muscle weighs more. This can be a big let-down if you aren’t paying attention to the decrease in your problem areas. The easiest thing to do is to wear a belt every day. As I have to cinch the belt into a smaller hole each week, it is a huge mood lifter when I don’t feel I’m losing any pounds.

So, starting measurements –

waist, at belly button – 45 in

left arms, flexed, at bicep, 15 in

left thigh, halfway point, 24 3/4 in.

Sigh…I allow one moment of self digust, then take a deep breath, exhaling to release these feelings. I accept that lack of self love, as well as anger, feeling unprotected, abandoned, and not good enough have brought me to this place. I inhale, allowing the gorgeous yellow of the freshest lemon to appear in front of my eyes, to smell the delicious scent of a newly opened yellow tiger lily as I inhale, sliding down my sinuses, throat to my belly to activate the third chakra, which is about two inches above my belly button. Here is where we manifest thought into true action. Here is where my terrrible bouts of pain occurred this summer. Let the exercising begin.