right away…I mean it.. DO NOT…
Here’s why –
1. When a guy sends a text, he’s waiting, watching,
no, holding that phone to see if, and how fast you are going to open it.BE STRONG. Especially if you don’t have a smart ass phone, because you don’t know who it’s from. Especially if you have a good idea who it is. Even more so.
Seems crazy? Not to a guy. Trust me. While I’m writing these blogs, I typically get anywhere from 3-15 texts per a three hour period. I cut off my phone, or better yet, keep it in the car, because if ‘he’ calls, it will actually ring, which really agitates a guy if he knows it’s ringing, and you don’t answer.
LIke, sexually stimulates a guy when you don’t immediately answer his text/sext/phone call.
He wants to know where you are, what you’re doing, who it’s with, and then he kicks himself in the ass and asks himself why it isn’t him. If he’s emotionally available, he starts looking for you. Let him sweat.
This takes discipline. It also is a way to retrain yourself to be in control. You are at the wheel now, and no longer a victim. When you run to his beck and call, you are being his victim. Studies have shown that when a man doesn’t have to work for it, he WON’T. If he doesn’t have to fight, claw, climb mountains, jump through hoops to earn you, he will never want keep you. NEVER.
2. When you answer right away, you appear needy. Men RUN screaming, hands in the air when they even think for ONE split second that you could possibly be needy. I learned that the hard way. Being needy is different from needing HELP, as men love to rescue you, but that’s for another post.
3. It keeps you from being able to focus. If you are at the store, running late to class, at work straining to beat a deadline, cooking for the kids, God FORBID you are driving, you can’t think straight. “Oh shit, it’s that totally fine, sex God grad student with the heavenly accent, texting me! What do I say? Umm, …..” CRASH into a grocery cart, the neighbor’s parked car, you push delete instead of return on that 13 page report…NO.
“So, what do I do, O Sexy Earth Mother Godess?” you ask with baited breath.
I”m going to tell you. So, listen up….
Wait at least 30 minutes, or up to 3 hours, then go get the phone out of your car or purse. Read ALL of the texts first. If there’s only one, read it, and then wait at least twenty minutes to an hour to answer. That’s so he sees that you’ve read it, but you’re too busy to answer texts for just anybody right now.
Case in point. I had the most romantic and hot date last night with a younger man with whom I am very attracted. It was lovely in every way. I will talk about it more in a later post. We were both consenting adults, so sex could have been perfect. BUT.
It was our first date, and I am not a mattress back. So, even after he elegantly and wonderfully tempted me to come inside, I decline, promising to see him again.
He asked me to text him when I got home safely, so I did. We then had a few risque texts, and then I stopped before it went too far, and sent this one simple text.
“If it pleases you, then ask me out again.” To which he quickly replied that he would.
Today, as I’m on my dating site, just cruising around, I see that he’s been reading my profile, but was hidden, and didn’t know I could see his visit to it. I didn’t send a message there, to protect his privacy, and so I could keep seeing when he was ‘secretly’ visiting, but got offline, and then a few minutes later, while I was writing this post, actually, I texted to his phone, “I can’t stop thinking about….” that’s it.
Within an hour now, my text tone has gone off. Now, it could be him, or it could be any of the five guys I’m talking to right now, or, it could be three or four from the past five months. I never know who it is, so I’m waiting, at least fifteen minutes, if not more. When he does text me back, here’s what I’ll shoot back…not , how hot you looked in that tight white shirt, not – those delicious lips from all of that kissing we did, not what you might look like naked…HOT, desirable guys hear this all the time. I know, because if I’m getting one liners like this, they sure are. NO. What I will text back when he asks what, is “how delicious that Jamaican food tasted.” It’s playful, doesn’t put him on a pedestal, and let’s him know that you aren’t an easy lay.
Just checked it. Yep. from him….”about….” is all it says….
Stick with me, kid.