For my sake,
I have to review weekly, so I can continue to improve.
I will also post some pictures,
after I fully get to the next lower pant size, which equates to losing roughly fifteen pounds.
I have to build myself up to that level of transparency,because I have carried several emotional Kevlar suits worth of damaging body armor for over a decade,from emotional and physical abuse from my step-kids, my self, my last husband, and my parents, as well as others. Being vulnerable like this could be very traumatic for me, or it could be very freeing, depending on how me and my inner kids tend to look at it.
Yesterday there was a HUGE flea market/festival in Hillsville. For those who don’t know, festival is spelled F-O-O-D. To keep it in check, I compromised with my inner kids. I had to get a carpet steamer in the middle of town, right by ALL of the vendors, so I told my inner girls I would treat them to a delicious BBQ sandwich if they promised to leave me alone after that.
Due to nurturing my inner children, they agreed not to drive me to binge. I will explain more on how to work with your inner children as we go along in this blog.
So, we went to the little BBQ/sandwich joint in town, away from the maddening crowd; it reminded me of an old Dairy Queen, standing room only. I fully enjoyed the ENTIRE experience. This is what you have to do. I sat down, sniffed the steamy, smoky hickory aroma, listened to the pop and sizzle of hushpuppies and fries in the hot grease, and covertly watched all the work men watching me.
I sat with my boys and enjoyed every bite. I chewed each sweet, dry, yet sloppy wet with red slaw goodness mouthfull until it was mush, and then swallowed, thanking Creator for the blessing of this handcooked food. I also blessed the animals and plants that died so that I might live. I asked that any trauma or anger the pig endured during his life or death be transmuted to the Universe and not be ingested by me or my family. This is the very important part, friend..
You MUST enjoy what you EAT.
There was no guilt in this, no shame, no need to wolf it down. I just enjoyed being alive, with my boys, and was thankful. THE END.
I balanced that with a diet Dr. Pepper, and, instead of fries, I ordered a large order of hush puppies, that was divided four ways, to keep me in check.
Moderation and self-love are para mount.
When I woke up yesterday, my weight was 235.2. I did not have time for cardiovascular yesterday, because I wanted to be sure I meditated, as well as cleaned three carpets, while being there for my kids. I also knew that I was going to receive a distant healing session from my mentor, so that was another priority.
I was at the store, so bought some kale, beets, papaya, pineapple, cucumbers, lettuce and tomato.
To balance out the lack of both exercise, as well as the dietary ‘explosion’, I decided to make juice and just sip on that for the evening. This was a way for the digestive system to be allowed to rest after the pork, as well as for the digestive enzymes, fiber, and nutrients to be easily assimilated.
I did not have – any Atkins’ supplements, any other manufactured carbs or bread products, or sodas
I did have – 2 pro-biotic supplements, 1 green coffee pill, and a fish oil/Omega 3 supplement that was not high quality, but better than nothing due to my quite restricted budget, as well as 90 ounces of water.
I just threw together one cucumber, four pieces of kale, leaves pulled from the stalk, one apple, 1/2 can of coconut milk, and 8 ounces of water.
I didn’t measure,
bad mistake, and I didn’t use a recipe;
But, I put on my big girl pants and sipped on it throughout the evening. I had about 24 ounces. Note, I did not juice this, but put it in the blender, which made it chewy. We really, really need that ‘mash’ that gets separated, for many important reasons, and I will address using that later. So, I ‘chewed’ this blend as a dinner substitute, and it was quite fulfilling.
So, this morning, i maintained my weight. Here, I checked my measurements again.
Arm;, 14 1/2 inches; waist; 44.? 2 ticks less than a half; left thigh,24. 3 ticks less than 1/2
I also looked at my low rise waist, as most jeans are made this way. Of course, there is the muffin top to consider, just sayin’…42 3/4 in
Remember, ONLY share what you’re doing with an objective, caring ‘other’. Do not expect your narcissistic mother to give you what you need. Leave her be. Do not expect your perfectionist sister to stop being a bitch after twenty years and care.
FIND one, objective, unconditionally loving person to share your ups and down with. If you can’t find anyone, feel free to use me. I’m here. Flaws and all.
But, because I love me, I can offer healthy love and support to YOU.