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I was on my online dating site of choice,
Image chatting with a guy via phone texting.

We were getting to know each other, and so the texts were flying, pleasant and innocent. Suddenly, another guy starts texting me. I’m game, so we’re getting to know each other, and BAM! I get a pic message. Now, remember, I don’t have a smart ass phone, so I don’t know who it’s from until I open it, and then hit ‘reply’. Many times we use that pic message as a way to write a sappy, long whatever because it gives us 1,000 spaces, and I text so much, and I hadn’t given my number out very much recently, so I just opened it.

POW! There was this monstrous, well, you know…it looked like it belonged in the sea, it was so pale. Anyway, I digress.  So, I’m thinking to myself, ??? and I keep chatting, and then  KERPLOW! Yep. A different one. Time passes, and then later on in the day I’m getting a couple of pics of bouquets from an older guy, how nice. Then, WHAMMO! OMG, even the older guy sent one! Yes, I was disgusted, upset, a little amused, even. You’ll just have to imagine the conversations that followed as I weeded out who sent what, and why.

The sea slug declined further commentary once I asked, “Was one of these yours?”

So, let’s go to the chicken coop and figure this out.

  1.  Males are wired to have 3 things – external comfort, status among their peers, and lots of sex. There is NO way around it, and there’s no reason to beat yourself up for it. Accept it. Your potential mate is NOT here to be your BFF. His job, as he is genetically wired, is to be successful. He thinks that showing you his junk will raise his chances of you finding him attractive. He LOVES to see your nude stuff, and assumes the feeling is reciprocated.
  2. Most men have been through the ringer. In our age of the ‘disposal society’, we feel that we don’t have to try and make things work, we’ll just throw it away, and get another, including each other. Having a huge rooster is a sign of status, success, and definitely a way for them to get sex, as they can proudly display that they have what it takes. I find this especially true of older men, and it breaks my heart.
    why men show you their junk

    the new plight of many middle aged men

    Men over 35 that are divorced are being thrown in the trash by single women. After divorce, they’re usually emotionally unavailable, their spirits are broken from being torn from their children and the homes they spent decades creating for their families, and a lot of them didn’t even see the divorce coming.    Men have to PROVIDE, and when that has been taken away, it destroys their souls. They feel so worthless and that  all they have to offer is sex. The older ones are made to feel they have to prove something because otherwise they don’t feel they stand a chance. I can’t tell you how high the percentage is out there of men who are either living in cars, completely homeless, or one step away from it.    NOW, don’t let your damaged inner children get all riled up, ladies, I know that there are deadbeats, tons of horror stories, etc. (My dad did some horrible stuff to me and my mom, but I am not going to take that out on other men.) I have seen some pretty ruined men whose bodies have been all but destroyed trying to provide for the ones they love. Take a minute and rock your inner child, tell her she is loved and cared for if this upsets you that I would defend a man.  If an older man is talking with me and feels he needs to show me his lovely rooster, I will at least take a look. Then we will have a conversation on how I feel about it, depending on my mood or what prompted it.

  3. He finds you very attractive, and wants you to like him, too. Roosters are gorgeous birds, and they are each different, special in their own way. How they act in the chicken yard has a great deal to with how they are treated. When they find a hen they like, they’ll dance, strut, spin around and show off six ways to Sunday. I’ll discuss ways to get juicy, respectful conversation going that sets your boundaries, as well as how to get their attention in another post.
  4. His authentic self was damaged at some point in his childhood, so he learned he was less than enough, or only loved when he was pleasing another, or only conditionally loved when he ‘did’ stuff. Same goes for women, which I’ll address in my next post, as well. Many times there was sexual abuse, so he learned he could at least get some of his needs met by performing in a sexual manner. My heart goes out once I see this is the case.
  5. You’ve made it clear on your profile that you’re either a sub or a dominatrix, and you really want those type of pics, or you’ve given him the impression that you’re “that kinda girl”. Hey, that’s up to you. But, if you’re not, take a hard look at what message you’re sending. Have a guy friend look at your profile, and see what he thinks.

The point I”m trying to make here is that there is a lack of communication between men and women, which leads to bigger problems down the road, unless you start opening your mind and looking at things differently. Until you can heal your damaged child, or at least tend to, and make them feel safe, it will be almost impossible to find a mate who is a safe and holistic partner.

Hang it there! We’re learning together…

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