We’ve all done it. Admit it.
We’re chatting/texting/sexting; we may even get that first date.
And, then, the dreaded SILENCE.
Everything was going so well….was it something I said?
Maybe I should’ve worn that LBD instead of the capris, maybe I should’ve agreed to spend the night…
The reason I started this blog was because I wanted to work through the pain of not having the physical status shape necessary to maintain a relationship with the type of man to which I am attracted. And who is attracted to me.
I know how to use language in the ways men need by praising, acknowledging ways that he provides for me, admiring his abilities, sexually stimulating his mind and body, and having ideas to help him win his wars.
I know how to take care of a man physically while also nourishing his body, and I take care of myself. I’ve learned what we do that make men feel we’re “needy”, and I’ve quit laying it all on the table, as well.
But, I haven’t found a way yet to get my body to equate to society’s views of how it should look if I ‘m going to be with a man of status, while also remaining true to my Earth Mother self. I’m working on a happy medium (if there is one), now.
A former Scorpio lover once said,
A quiet man is a thinking man.
Men need to be in control of a situation. It is in their genetic makeup. They are the protectors, keeping it calm, while constantly working to maintain their place in the pecking order. When you excite him too much, he sees this as dangerous. He has to back off, and assess the situation.
He needs to figure out if you can raise his status, or if he can rise to yours.
If the answer to either of these is ‘No’, he will not contact you again. Because this is science, it is the way nature created a man’s brain. That’s why I said that I don’t pester men or worry if I put the ball in their court with some attempted mode of communication and they don’t text or call back. Nature/Creator is taking care of it for me.
But, crazy Spirit Dating Chick, I need closure, I need to see if I can ‘fix’ it, I need to….
You need to get over it. And quickly. The minute you start sending more than one text at a time before he responds to the last one, you come off as needy. You are no longer a challenge, and therefore, not going to raise his status, therefore not worth his time. You open yourself up to being a doormat. And,
Accept that there is something missing, and that it is NOT YOUR FAULT. Many times, men realize that you are a genuine, good woman, and he is NOT a good man, and he knows this, so he won’t call you back. He just wants a one night stand. This is why learning to say ‘No’ with style is so crucial to your survival. You must have clearly defined boundaries on what YOU want, what you will and will not accept, and then relay that to the PD (potential date) on the other end of that phone. (In my next post, I PROMISE to help you with this.)
As I also mentioned in another post, many men my age (40+), are either homeless or close to it, due to the after effects of divorce. They no longer have the ability to provide in ways they did when younger, or single, or before they lost their jobs in construction, or real estate or on Wall Street, etc., and they feel worthless. Many are truly not able to give you what you need. Isn’t it refreshing that they have the chivalry to back off when they realize this?
Other men have a great deal of status, and they’ve only been able to hold on to it, along with their physical power and means of pleasure by keeping at the top of the flock, beating down the other roosters in constant competition, hiding their weaknesses from other men, and saving what they could of their accomplishments through divorce and a crumbling economy. He cannot risk the chance of a lowered status based on the ‘wrong’ choice in a mate. No, it isn’t fair, no it isn’t easy to make the grade, but it can be done. You can earn the achievement of bagging the best PD for you. And, in my next post, I will share it with you. Because you deserve the best life has to offer. Now you just have to believe it to receive it.
So, perhaps you could change the way you look at things. This is now an opportunity to keep looking, to move on to something better. Remember, it’s not what a man says in the beginning that counts. It’s what a man does.