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They don't always stack up in person...

They don’t always stack up in person…

Finding an authentic man has become quite the challenge;in this world of online dating and high technology, it is easy to mistrust.

We are left to rely on pictures, the vague texting, and taking a chance to – gasp – meet!

When you’re in the throes of ‘getting to know’, there are usually a ton of texts, pic exchanging and putting on your ‘best face’, trying out all types of poses, backdrops and scenery. Have no doubt, he has done the same.

So, how do we weed through the pics they send and find out if he/she’s ‘for real’?

If there is mutual interest and we begin texting, state that you’d like a

pic, right there on the spot. I don’t let him waffle, either. I will stop what I’m doing, and take a shot, sending it, and then I’ll text something like, “OK, you’re it!”

If he makes excuses, falls silent, or refuses, walk away. The end. That person is a fake, playing games, or a liar. You don’t need the drama. I have had to encourage, cajole and whine – in some cases, but it is worth it. If you don’t get a pic in 10 minutes, forget it. Either the self esteem is not there or the person is not who they made you think they are. If it is sent quickly, or you get several, you are on the right track.

Now, let’s say PD, (potential date) does send one; how we really ‘see’ PD?

I’ve pulled a few random pics off of the net to show you how I, as an intuitive relationship coach would view them.

Mr. College Campus I’d call this one, genuine, fun-loving, honest and kind. He is a little shy, but in an endearing way. See how the smile goes into the eyes? He shows his teeth, a sign of honesty and integrity, his high forehead shows intelligence, an easy going manner, and that he will be very sensual and emotional in a relationship. He is probably not the best with money, though. His eyes seem full of life, and an ability to enjoy and relax. His ears lobes show that he is a good listener, and he will remember what you say to him. Everything. A very open expression is what you look for in a good man or woman. A keeper.

The fun, not serious guy. If you are just looking for a great date who most likely will.    ever amount to anything other than ‘fwb’ status, but you aren’t ready for a serious commitment either, he is perfect. Sometimes we need a date who is fun and different, someone who can lift our spirits or make us feel like a million dollars for a little while. I would not suggest thinking you could be the one to make him change his ways or settle into an exclusive relationship any time soon. A little nerdy (techno nerd), he is always ready to get his groove on, quirky and unusual in his ideas, very smart, ironic humor, who sees the world in a different sort of  way. He has secrets, and is not what he seems. Opinionated, he always has to be right. Doesn’t care what anyone else thinks.

I see quite a lot of pictures like this on the dating sites. Many men who post pics like this have much they hope to hide.  When a man personally chooses to use a pose like this on a dating site, he is a very private person who is most likely married or likewise attached. You don’t often see a moustache like this, unless he is a firefighter, but even that length around the mouth suggests that he is very closed off, private.  Without considering that facial feature, his lack of showing teeth, the hat, and the sunglasses subconsciously indicate that he is hiding. This man loves to be extravagant, is sensual as long as it pleases him to do so, and he is selfish overall. He is a smooth talker when he tries to get his way, but is loud and overbearing, and loves to drink. Many women, unfortunately, are attracted to this type of bad boy personae, but it is not worth it if you want an authentic man.

Again, the high forehead is typically a good indication of intelligence, with only a few wrinkles in it. The full lips indicate sensuality, a wonderful kisser, and most likely an attentive lover. He jokes and laughs often, but realize he is sensitive, and a little insecure. He will do well with consistent attention and praise, becoming a devoted lover.

If you find this interesting, it is worthwhile to study some of the Chinese face reading sites, here is a good introduction, http://english.eastday.com/e/zx/userobject1ai4042447.html.

Although most of my work is intuited, I will often use the assistance of a face reading chart when my client is concerned about someone he or she is interested in or dating.

Once you begin to utilize tools like this, it will help sharpen your dating skills, giving you a much better chance of finding the best match for you!