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It is becoming more difficult to find that special someone, but have faith – you can!
I wrote in an earlier post about how it is crucial to get beyond the looks of an individual, http://bitylink.info/tg45, as daydreaming is a dangerous trap in the beginning of the ‘getting to know’ phase.
After reading scores of online articles that were either designed to sell a product or just offer bad advice, I’ve come up with five secrets to finding the best type of person for your individual life style, whether a male or female.
- You must get out of ‘the box’.
Once we hit our 30’s, it feels dangerous to veer from our daily routine, as this gives a single person presumed stability and safety. However, this is most likely why you are single. Going to different grocery stores, eating at new restaurants, walking on different tracks, or even walking indoors, like local malls or museums can get you in the vicinity of other singles. Think up new ways to help with old issues. For example, men can decrease impotency by 50% if they take up a low level weekly exercise like gardening! There are ways to become healthier in the natural world. Try something new!
If you’ve always admired long-distant walkers or biking, volunteer at a local 10-k run or tough mudder, for example. Showing interest in the contestants can lead to interesting conversations, advice, and perhaps more.
Studies have shown that when a person can share his/her passion, it improves self-esteem and builds stronger relationships. Volunteer to help on your child’s sport team or after school activities, or the Special Olympics. Even if you’re not a sport pro, you can offer support from the side lines, help with snack and fund raisers, and meet other single parents.
If you’re an animal lover, help out at the local shelter, or equine therapy stable. There are many groups that help rescue certain dog breeds or neglected horses, for example.
3. Be more open-minded.
This has tremendous potential for finding a lasting love. Be willing to learn about a few things potential dates enjoy that you DON’T like, so you can find commonality. The more giving you are to participate in something because it pleases the other (as long as it doesn’t demean you), then more bonds are being created that draw you to each other. If the local mechanic has potential, ask him to come out and explain how he fixed the issue, perhaps getting him to show you what he did to your car. You can learn something and get closer to him. Men LOVE and NEED to have authority when they can.
If you think Amelia in the next cubicle is the ‘one’, and you find out she rushes from work to make the hot yoga class at 6, do a little research and start asking her how has bikram yoga helped her focus and breathing because you have trouble staying on task, for example. Find ways to be authentic and get to know the genuine side of the one on your mind.
4. Learn something new about your dating demographic.
Everyone knows you don’t go to a dance club if you want to find someone who’s ready to settle down, or you should start a new hobby to find someone with similar interests, but that doesn’t always help. It may just help you find more friends. Sigh.If you’ve had a difficult time finding worthwhile dating material, learn more about the type of person you wish to attract. A suggestion –
Although many people may find it hokie, there is a deep and ancient importance in learning about your astrological sign, either the strengths and weaknesses of your zodiac or from the Native American wheel’s earth sign. By studying about our polarity sign, our opposites, as well as our compatible signs, we can gain valuable insights into what makes us tick, and what we are truly looking for in a great match.
For example, if material items are not important to you, but you want a lover who will be reliable, trustworthy and family oriented, then a Cancer can be a great match. However, you must consider if you will be too bored after a time, and need lots of stimulation mentally, and new scenery. Then, a Cancer may cause long-term issues for you, especially if you are an Aquarius. I, however, loved having my opposite most f the time, but had to work hard at my male Cancer’s insecurities over the years. At the very least, it is interesting to consider the underlying desires and drives of the potential dates around you by researching this a little.
5. Make sure to give yourself quiet time to unwind each day.
Being single can bring on feelings of sad or loneliness, and we often fill our lives to overflowing so we don’t notice them so much. However, when we take time to reflect on our daily events, still the mind in relaxation by listening to quiet music or short nature walks, our stress levels lower, and our heart rate and breathing become more natural and healthy. Walking is also crucial for bowel health, which means feeling more comfortable and keeping disease at bay.
The more you are willing to open your mind and give new things a chance, the better your opportunities at finding the perfect fit for you. There is hope!