My younger son (12) has a history of explosive behavior, related to both trauma
and autism spectrum characteristics.
Labelled as ODD (oppositionally defiant) and ADHD(attention deficit, hyperactive), he has been on a form of both Zoloft and Concerta since he was eight. I have been horrified that we had ‘no hope’ for our son other than this, and began research; lots and lots.
In the past four years, we have experienced extreme loss, horror, suffering and pain. We then moved into acceptance, awareness of mindfulness, and now into peace and greater understanding as I was able to ‘hear’ wisdom on how to help my sons heal.
The past year, Nate and I have come to a place of great discovery, and he began to try new foods and supplements, which have been a great benefit to him. He will actually now ASK for these items, as I have never forced these on him, just asked him to TRY things I have been doing.
Giving your child/special other a CHOICE is key; repeat, always give your child a choice- one that benefits both you and the child.
There are many levels of trauma; but all involve loss of choice or control for the victim.
The more freedom within safe boundaries you can give that child (or adult if it is a spouse or lover), the better the quality of the relationship the two of you will have.
Asking (not telling) the child/special other to try something really new and important, for example – fish oil, and then explaining how it helps you, as well as how it addresses that person’s issues can be a great way to win him over.
“Hey, Nate, I read recently that Norwegian fish oil is really good for aiding pain in the muscles and joints. The article also explains that our brains are mostly made up of DHA, and fish oil is full of the omega 3 oils that has the same stuff. So, not only will it help those awful ankle pains you’ve been having, it will also help you remember all those math formulas. Pretty cool, huh? It also tastes a little like lemons, with no fishy smell. ( I take a big TBL.) You could take this a few times a week, and it could make a difference. I even read that it helps your bowels. Want to try?” As you consistently model the appropriate behavior, the person will eventually copy you. Be patient.
This is a child who scans everything for its expiration date, changed administrative computer passwords at age 7, and put a screensaver on the family computer that looked like a medieval marauder was breaking into the computer. (Typical Asperger’s behavior. We need to be talked to like we’re smart, ’cause, well, we are)
This helps these kids on so many levels. 1. There’s no threat if they disagree. 2. It lets them think about why it could be good. 3. They see a loved one modelling the behavior, so they can trust it.
DO NOT ask these folks to do anything you are not willing to model. If you aren’t willing to do it, it means you don’t trust it (in their mind) and then you force, coerce or push them to do it, there will be issues, and they will not trust you, either.
Here are some other specific food choices we’ve made over a decade that you should consider for your autistic/behavior needs person.
- Alleviate any and all artificial sweeteners. They are poison and exacerbate violent behaviors, as well as hurt our bodies. It makes many sensitives sick, and the cause is often masked. Give them regular yogurt, the occasional soda, bake your own cookies. With the push to more natural foods, there are hidden ways companies sneak it unhealthy ingredients that help them sell. You must learn the definitions of the label ingredients.
There is never a good reason to ingest aspartame or similar chemicals like MSG, both of which contain excitotoxins that also lead to addiction. One clue is the phrase, “natural flavors.
- Add more leafy, dark greens to the diet. These are full of the B vitamins that relieve stress and help one stay calm, as well as aids memory. Start juicing today to get these highly valuable ingredients to your and your loved ones for health.
- Zinc rich foods like pumpkin/sunflower seeds, red meat, pecans and adzuki bean will keep down explosive behaviors, according to an article at wellbeingjournal.com. Limit to no more than 12 mg or so, as it is potent, and a small serving of seeds a day is plenty.
- Add more unprocessed foods to your diet that are dark and robust in color from your produce aisle – reds, oranges and green- squashes, peppers, leafy plants. Make it a game to try new things, like adding one cold soup a week to the menu or a different juice on the weekends when you have more time to prepare.
Over the recent holidays, both of my boys made the informed decision together to stop taking their meds, after much discussion regarding their responsibilities to practice self control techniques, strategies for appropriate ways to expel pent up anger, and my responsibilities to stay in control while being more patient and understanding of their needs. Their psychiatrist was informed, and it’s been a very empowering decision.
Keep calm, and EAT.
Sources for more information –
Great beginner juicing site – http://www.jljuicer.com/juicer-buying-guide/juicing-for-beginners/
Hallelujah Acres – quality supplements, recipes, educational materials – http://www.hacres.com/recipes
Norwegian quality fish oils – http://www.nordicnaturals.com/consumers.php
Vegan friendly source of high quality information and supplements – http://www.planetaryherbals.com/products/search/